A Conversation That Will Never Lead to a Second Date

This is just a little ditty I wrote during a creative writing workshop. We had to include the following words and phrases: infinity, bowling pin, polyester, pomegranate, tuna fish, pyromaniac, all night diner, and valet. I also made a video. I know, I know. I'm awesome.

A Conversation That Will Never Lead to a Second Date
I know what you're thinking-
my photo on InfinityLove.com didn't make me look so-
bowling pin shaped. Thank God for photoshop! Oh,
I'm sorry,
before we hug,
is that sweater
polyester?
I'm horribly allergic to polester and pomegranates.
Well, I'm not positive about pomegranates,
but my friend Madonna told me that they use pomegranate seeds
to make polyester, so it would only make sense.
I'm glad we decided to meet here because this place makes the best tuna
fish sandwiches! We'll have to stop at Cumby's
on the way back to your place so I can pick up some gum. Phew-
tuna really does stink!
This is already going better than my last date and all I did was tell
the guy about my dentures and he ran outta that All Night Diner like
a Cuban outta Mexico.
It's not my fault my mother never taught me to brush my teeth.
Are my teeth turning red from the wine? That would be kinda cool,
people might think I'm a vampire.
I love Twilight!
Basically, what I'm getting at is, if I spend the night tonight,
I'm going to need salt water and a wide rimmed mug 'cause
these babies were expensive.
So, wadda yah say, let's blow this joint? If you know what I mean,
wink,
wink,
wink,
You don't? I've got 2 sticks of TNT in the truck, so
we can watch this place burn baby.
What do you mean I'm a freak? Your "About Me" section said you were
"a bit of a pyromaniac!"
Where are you going? Get out of my car!
My mother always told me never to
date valets!